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List of quotes in Crash Tag Team Racing said by Doctor Neo Cortex
This is a list of quotes said by Doctor Neo Cortex in Crash Tag Team Racing. Missions *"Oh, it's you, Crash. Look, there's something fishy going on here, and I don't mean the salmon churros. I need to do a little sneaking around, but I can't, because... My head's too big! I mean, look at me. I stick out like a chocolate bar in a swimming pool! If I'm going to get to the bottom of this, you'll need to get me something black and slimming to wear. I don't want my butt to look so big!" *"Look, why are you back here if you don't have what I need? Crash, listen to me, and try to get this through your furry skull. If you want answers, you'll need to get me something black and fetching!" *"Ugh... Why are you still here and talking to me, Crash? Go... Go on... Fetch!" *"Crash, I swear, if you bother me once more, it's laser to the eyeball time!" *"Oh, now this is nice! I can go anywhere in this little number! Whoever's behind all this won't know what hit them. Oh, and take this Power Crystal. I found it in a dumpster covered in that disgusting Wumpa Whip, so... I don't want to keep it." *"Oh, Crash! Um... Coco asked me to get this car working for her but it's missing a key engine component. If you find a set of high-quality gears, would you bring them to me?" *"Oh, good. It'll make your sister so happy." *"Crash, you blithering imbecile! Can't you do anything right? You're the worst mutation I've ever created! Bring me those gears, now!!" *"Crash, why are you back here? You're making me very... uh... You're making your sister sad..." *"Crash, you cantankerous twerp! What are you even doing back here?" *"Shut Up!! Get me that gear!" *"You did it! You brought me the last part I needed! Crash, you fool. With this car, I will win the deed to the park for sure, and destroy every bandicoot foolish enough to face me on the tracks!" *"Oh, Crash! Can you help me out? I need Power Crystals to charge my new weapon of mass-- uh... helping people. Can you bring me Crystals to fuel my latest creation and... help as many people as possible?" *"Oh yes, that's nice. Stand there and hit the talk button to annoy the mad scientist. Next you'll spin attack I suppose. Just get me those Crystals, you idiot!" *"Oh. Long, firm Power Crystals to fuel my new rampaging creation. Meet me on the racetracks Crash. And I will show you a real car." When interacting with Crash *''"Ah, yes. Crash, my dear boy. Haven't you some train tracks to play on?"'' *"Crash! What a surprise! I have a blaster gun with your name on it! Wait here." *"Crash! You really must assist me, dear boy. I dropped my chewing gum in that wood chipper over there. Would you be so kind as to retrieve it for me?" *"Crash! You're looking very fit and trim! Those palates are doing wonders for your figure." *"Hello, Crash Bandicoot! Goodbye, Crash Bandicoot." *"Hello Crash. It's always a torture- uh, I mean pleasure to see you." *"Hey Crash! Willie Wumpa Cheeks has a dripping problem with his Wumpa Pumpa. Why don't you go plug it up?" *"Oh, do I despise that orange-pelted rodent. Uhh... ah, Crash! My old pal! I was just on a tirade about you!" *"Salutations, my dear Crash. Very soon I shall find you a new home in the afterlife." *"Ugh! Crash Bandicoot, stop hounding me!" *"Why Crash Bandicoot! My old friend! Have you ever heard the Cortex proverb that revenge is a dish best served with fava beans? Hmm. Well remind me to tell you sometime." *"Yes, yes! Don't bother me, Crash! Can't you see I'm working on your demise?! The nerve!" When attacked by Crash *"I thought you liked me!" *"It's juvie all over again!" *"Just back off, man!" *"Meanie!" *"Nobody makes me bleed from there!" *"Oh, the pain of it all!" *"Stop it, please!" *"The pain! The sweet pain!" *"When I get my ray gun, you're through!" *"Why me?! I'm so pretty!" *"Why would you do that?!" *"You can't do that to me! No one can!" When starting a race *"After I win, I want to be hand-fed grapes and drink lots of creamy soda." *"Attention, everyone! Follow me!" *"Fill 'er up and check my oil!" *"How much longer till we get there?!" *"I bore easily. Do try and keep up." *"It's okay everyone. I'll hold back a bit to keep an interesting." *"May the best cheat win!" *"My, my. So many balloons of hope for me to pop." *"Now, I may attack other drivers. Okay, I will attack other drivers." *"Now, when the flag lowers, everyone, hit reverse!" *"Okay, dregs of society! Time to learn who the real mad doctor is here!" *"Soon you will all taste the sour conception of defeat!" *"This race is a trivial challenge to a genius like me!" *"Keep the root beer on ice. This won't take long." *"Wait, wait! I'm not buckled in!" When starting from a standstill *"1.2 gigawatts of power!" *"Burn baby burn! Like a disco inferno!" *"Down, boy! Steady!" *"Engage!" *"Fear my fossil fueled wrath!" *"Hey! Pretty good pickup in this heap!" *"I am Cortex, hear me roar!" *"I feel the need! The need for acceleration!" *"I just love when that happens." *"Impressive! Most impressive!" *"I've got lots of torque! And I'm not afraid to use it!" *"Ladies react very favorable to that." *"Mad scientist coming through!" *"Nice skid marks!" *"Oh, I love that rumbling sensation!" *"Rolling rolling rolling!" *"Such power! Such speed! I'm quite a catch!" *"Who's your daddy?" *"Yeehaw!!" When passing by an opponent vehicle *"Last time I saw a car like that, someone was feeding it hay!" *"Breaker 1.9! Here comes rubber ducky!" *"Hahaha! I'm funky, fresh, and beautiful!" *"You see? I knew that extra quart of oil would work! '-belch-'" *"Ain't my backside pretty?" *"Make way for agent beauty!" *"Who's your daddy?" *"And to think, I didn't meet the height requirements for this ride '-chuckles-"' *"Little do they know. I flunked driver's ed." *"Bow before my rancid villainy!" *"Tell me, how does losing feel?" When passed by an opponent vehicle *"Hey, you! Mr. ... guy!" *"You, filthy peon, get back here so I can whack you!" *"Hey! Come on! I really need to get there first!" *"Now, that's a good way to taste the back of my hand." *"Hey! Don't make me pull this car over!" *"Oh I'll get you for that! Get you good!" *"Apparently they don't realize I'm supposed to win!" *"Perhaps it's time to start racing." *"You ain't all that." Carrying an item *"With this, I will do pathetically horrible deeds." *"Haha! Jewels! More jewels!" *"Crystals are a doctor's best friend." *"This will surely come in handy for evil." *"Ohh, shiny!" *"Oh, nice!" *"That's great! What's it for?" *"Now the circle of pain is complete." *"Oh would you look at that? A present!" *"The power! The power!" *"Oh, how excellent!" *"Every mad scientist's dream." *"I'm hiding this Crystal in my special place." *"No one will ever take this from me. No one!" *"I'll have enough for a fine pearl necklace soon." *"Begin quivering with excitement." *"Powers of Cortex, activate!" *"Better me than any of those other nitwits." *"I will build a super weapon of incredible destructive force! Eventually." *"Where on Earth am I going to keep all this booty?" *"I really ought to turn this into lost and found. Not!" *"Hahaha! The wonderful power!" *"Mine! Mine! All mine!" *"I'll find a wonderful home for you, little jewel." *"I'm happy! I'm really, really happy!" *"Another for the collection!" When brushing against an opponent vehicle *"Save the brain!" *"Mad scientists have the right of way... Jerk!" *"I would've hit him, but this game is rated 'E'." *"I skinned my knee!" *"Rusty, Cortex, you're getting rusty!" *"Hmm... I must have my contacts checked." *"My great skills of nearsightedness caused that!" *"I'm getting the sneaking suspicion that this park is not entirely safe." *"Ugh! What sicko came up with this ride?" *"Vehicular man slaughter!? I like the sound of that!" *"Excuse me, gamer, are you TRYING to make me lose?!" *"That had better not have been on purpose, you!" *"Why can't I get the elbow room I deserve?" *"Watch the paint, watch the paint!" *"Hey there buddy, this isn't California you know!" *"Blast you, Sunday driver!!" *"That's no way to treat a man on his way to church!" *"Send a bill to the office!" *"There goes my good insurance rate!" *"Why does this always happen to me?" *"Shoot! I'll get him on the next lap!" *"Ugh! You're a lawsuit waiting to happen!" *"Now how am I supposed to respond to that action?" *"Now how did that not end in a fiery death?" *"I think I wet myself!" *"Going to need a new kidney from my organ donor clone!" *"Hey there! Watch where I'm driving!" *"Was that trip really necessary?" *"Stop your whining! I'm insured!" *"Scuv off, bat-bag! I mean... oh, nevermind." *"Where's your sense of decency, man!?" *"I'm calling my mommy on you!" *"Hey! That hurt!" *"Ta-ta! You should know better than to mess with a man's wheels!" *"Hey there! Watch where I'm going!" *"Don't try that at home, kiddies!" *"Come back here and plow into me like a man!" *"Sometimes I feel like a motherless Cortex..." *"You're just making it worse for yourself." *"Hey, hey, I'm driving here!" *"Come on, Cortex, you can do better than that!" *"That surely shaved a year or so off my life!" *"That was a close shave... with razor bumps!" *"Excuse me, buster, but where were you when they went over the rules?" *"Wow, that was fun, and a little scary too." *"Pick on someone your own size, shrimpy!" *"Relax, Cortex. You know their weakness-- Doomsday weapons!" *"Such violence in a children's park! Tsk! Tsk!" When brushing against a wall *"¿Dónde están mis pantalones?" *"Great! I just washed this vehicle!" *"Summon my proctologist!" *"Somebody get me a tissue!" *"How am I going to talk my way out of this one?" *"Not my baby!" *"Hurt my ride, you hurt me! Wait. I probably shouldn't say that." *"Oh yeah? Well, the more you hit me, the weaker I become!" *"Aaah!! My car!" *"Is this the price of victory?" *"I don't like this part of the race much." *"Ouch, ouch, and double ouches!" *"Oh, now who put that there?" *"Hit me! Do I not bleed?" *"Noooo! I love this car!" *"Oh the humanity!" When flying through the air *"It's the only way to fly!" *"Woohoo! I'm a big beautiful bird!" *"I always was the best student at evil medical school." *"This is great, but reentry can be rough." *"If madmen were meant to fly, our cheeks would be filled with helium!" *"Woohoo! I can see my house from here!" *"Hey! I never read the landing procedure!" *"Uh-oh. That burrito is making an encore visit!" *"Woohoo! Get a load of my sweet tricky!" *"Now this is what I call an E-ticket ride!" *"Up up and away!" *"Okay Luke, I'm starting my run!" *"Whoa! I think I'm going to be sick!" When attacking an opponent vehicle *"How did that delicousness taste?" *"Taste my smoldering intellect!" *"I shouldn't enjoy this so much!" *"Sanara Sandy." When destroying an opponent vehicle *"Oh! Now I do feel guilty about that one!" *"Flame on!" *"It's so good to be so bad." *"Don't worry, that was a mercy killing." *"Toodle-oo!" *"It's not my fault he sucks platypus eggs!" *"You have met my destiny! Nice, isn't it?" *"Now you know who the real mad scientist is!" *"I'd say he's not operational. ..hehehe..." *"Ohh, I did a bad thing! Eeheehee." When destroyed by an opponent vehicle *"I knew I shouldn't have tossed that bus transfer!" *"You'll probably blame me for this, won't you?" *"Hey buddy, can you spare a dime?" *"I hope none of my henchmen saw that." *"I'm all brains and no gas." *"Evil madman-- Will work for shiny new vehicle!" *"Ugh. To think I was top of my class in evil medical school." *'"MOMMY!!!"' *"Waiter! Check, please!" *"Uh, excuse me. Can anyone give me a lift home?" *"Well, I will most surely lodge a complaint at city hall!" *"Oh take the rest in the doggy bag." *"Ohh!! For heaven's sake, someone put it out of its misery!" *"I don't deserve this!" *"How did I ever get stuck with this heap?" *"Boo-hoo! My beautiful ride!" When hit by a weapon *"Well, there's sportsmanship for you." *"Fool! Watch where you're aiming that thing!" *"Hey, when I hit you, I didn't mean you could hit back!" *"Ohh, the pain!!" *"Ohh!! I lost my ATM card!" *"Hey! Aren't you supposed to be on my team?" *"Sheesh! I'd rather be a hammer than a nail!" *"Ahhh! I wet my pants!" *"That's it! I want my money back!" *"I wonder if that will affect my lease agreement." *"Stop that! Only villians get to shoot at people!" *"Two can play that game weasel!" *"You're mean you know that? Meanie!" *"Is that any way to treat a feeble old man?" When running over a park drone *"An evil maniac's gotta do what an evil maniac's gotta do!" *"Cry all you want! I can't hear you! Lalalalalalalalalala!" *"Heavens! I enjoyed that too much!" *"It's really not my policy to pick up hitchhikers." *"Yes! Like a deer in the headlights!" *"Officer, he just walked right onto the road!" *"I haven't laughed like that since I was a schoolgirl!" *"I really ought to go back and pick him up. Not!" *"My, my, was that you?" *"Take that, animatronic booby!" When clashing *"Trust me, this is good for both of us." *"Together, you and I will do very bad things." *"Wow, that felt good!" *"My heavens, we got us a convoy!" *"Now you do a good job as my partner or I've got a ray gun with your name on it!" *"Now move a little to the left... That's better." *"I'll bet the gas mileage is dreadful in this thug!" *"Now this is what I call a sport utility vehicle!" *"How do you like it on the dark side, huh?" *"You're chassis or mine?" *"Not bad! We need to see each other more often." *"You know how to shoot right? Just curl your finger around the trigger and pull." *"It's obvious. We were meant to be together." When declashing *"Oh, I'm sorry. Were we a team?" *"And I'm spent." *"Cortex is a lone wolf; a bald eagle; a burrowing hamster.." *"Thanks for your help. Now stay out of my way, vermin!" *"Talk to the hand! Buh-bye!" *"I can't be seen with you. I just can't." *"Look, I think we should see other people." *"I've had it with you, meddling kid!" *"Stay away from me, you freak!" *"Now tell me how my backside looks. Tell me!" When winning a race *"Who let the canines out? Woof! Woof, woof!" *"You want to try that again, smarty pants?" *"Ohh, I get it. You're TRYING to hit me." *"Nice shot. Next time, try AIMING!" *"Nice try! Next time, open your eyes when firing!" *"I'm quick and nimble like a little cockroach." *"Really, you should go and find an easier target than me." *"Now, now, I shall donate all of my winnings to a most deserving charity-- Me!" *"Oh, Cortex, when will they ever learn?" *"Is I good or is I good?" *"Can I purchase that pink big teddy bear now? Huh? Huh?" *"Bow before the master of speed and deliquency!" When losing a race *"That's just wrong in every sense of the word!" *"I'm just softening you up for my souffle o' pain." *"I hope there's a remedy for my filthy shame..." *"I'm such a sore loser! ... Anyone have any chewable aspirin?" *"Where did my training fail me?" *"Haha! Yes! Err... Oh. I meant to do that." *"Haha! ... Actually, I'm just trying to psyche you out... dude." *"Well, really, I'm more of a tiddlywinks man..." *"Obviously I'm in a generous mood today.." *"Oh well. It's everyone else's fault but mine." *"Just as I suspected. Losing isn't everything." Credits *"Hello, Michelle! Be seeing you later. Oh, and Michelle, say hi to Joel's kids, Neo Andrew and Neo Nichole." *"Mr. Plumbly, you really know how to shoot one pass the goalie! Wink wink, nudge nudge! Little Plumbly is proof of that." *"Isn't he going to thank his wife, or kids?" *"Hi, Elyssa! And the cutest girl in the world." *"Trevor Lim would like to thank the Olsen Twins, whom he's never met." *"Darren would like to thank no one. He did it all himself!" *"Oh, Jeff, what is up, big dog? How's it hanging in the hood?" *"Kevin would like to thank everyone that made a joke with his name in high school, and point out that they probably work in a mall now." *"Konichiwa, Maki-chan." *"Angus would like to thank the whole world for putting up with his horrible attitude, while he traveled the globe!" *(Reply to N. Gins comment about the guy getting all the chicks) "Sure, sure he does, but they're ugly!" *(Reply to N. Gin talking about the Gmail) "Uh, hold on! Let me get my pen!" *"Ian says thank you, Mom, Dad, and David. How... sickening!" *"Matthew, see you next Tuesday! Or was it Wednesday? Thursday-- No, Friday-- Ahh!" *"Peter would like to thank his lovely wife Wendy and cat Lucy for all their support." *"Hello, Corey's wife, Laura. You dirty girl!" *"And to my favorite niece, Amy Gross. Nothing gross about her." *"And Bill Farmer, if only he were one." *"Chris Coppola, man of a thousand voices, but unfortunately, no personality." *"And Dwayne Shephard. Nobody says ******* with such authority." *"Jess Harnell, please, tell your neighbor, the captain, that I said hi, and that I'm in a rock band! Ahaha!" *"And Lex Lang. Oh! I hope to someday meet him!" *"Lydian, the most polite man on the planet." Category:Quotes Category:Crash Tag Team Racing